As a newly bonded same-sex interracial couple, your journey together is just beginning. Cross-cultural understanding will be needed as part of the quest in loving each other. If you think that marriage or long-term partnership may be a possibility, it’s also crucial for you two to learn how to forge a life together, which includes dealing with parents.

One of your first challenges may be how to introduce the situation to your parents. You may worry about their disapproval or objections, either because your partner is from a different ethnic background or is the same gender as you. But if you’re interested in proceeding, it’s important to do some preparation beforehand, allow attitudes to modify over time, keep communication lines open and gain support from friends and other family members.

Talk to Your Partner First

If you and your partner have not already talked about your families, it’s a good idea to start doing so now. Although sharing family connections, history and shared traditions is important, you should also tell him or her about their attitudes towards interracial or same-sex relationships—whether these are positive, negative or ambivalent. Doing so will help him or her avoid venturing blindly into the situation.

Talk to Your Parents

Since communication is critical in dealing with your parents, you should also tell them about your mate before any initial meetings. Because your idea is to live authentically, you must be honest. They may have assumed that you’ll settle down with a mate of the same race and of a different gender, so your revelation may surprise or shock them. As you gauge their reactions, you may decide that it’s wiser to allow more time for processing and understanding your choices before bringing your mate to meet them. Alternatively, you could determine that their opinions are positive and that they’re ready to meet your loved one.

Time and Patience May Help

Even if your parents accept your partner with open arms (which is the best possible scenario), understand that they may hold deep-rooted prejudices and attitudes of which they may not be aware. Sometimes, they may have the best intentions but might choose their words and their questions poorly. Furthermore, their initial welcome could give way to anxious inquiries if your relationship becomes more serious. It’s prudent to be ready for any of these outcomes and try your best to express your perspectives to them. At the same time, remain supportive of your partner and work with him or her to stand as a united front in affirming your love.

Call for Backup

If you have siblings or other relatives who are in favor of your relationship, now may be the time to recruit their support. This is especially helpful when dealing with parents who do not accept, or are outright hostile to the idea. Whether their reactions are rooted in prejudice, fear or other factors, it may take some positive opinions and reinforcement by friends and family to change their perspective. Furthermore, you have a larger support network in place if they do not ever agree with your relationship.

Your parents’ acceptance and understanding of your same-sex interracial relationship could take time, and it’s possible that they may never approve. In these instances, you might need to make peace with this and move on, deciding to live your own life and minimize contact with them or end it entirely. However, many do eventually come around and learn to embrace their children’s choices. If you’re fortunate to be in the latter group, that’s a wonderful thing. Patience, communication and help from your support system might be the keys to making it happen.